


Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone?

by RedWolf_RoseEden



Series: Fae AU [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Fae, But like. With cultural reasons, Everyone is a little to the left of in character, Fae & Fairies, He's an ass, I Made Myself Cry, Logan is not neurotypical, Logan's village was not nice, M/M, Pain, Sad, Self-Sacrifice, Songfic, There's a mention of Fae eating people., They don't but it's mentioned, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Winter Fae are seen as monstrous, lowkey a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25337716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedWolf_RoseEden/pseuds/RedWolf_RoseEden
Summary: Logan, cast out from his village, stumbles upon a strange person in the forest.Winter Fae Remus is stunned when a human wandering through the forest in winter gives his true name unprompted.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Fae AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835026
Comments: 13
Kudos: 108





	Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone?

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by I of the Storm by Of Monsters and Men, I recommend listening to that.

(Present)

Remy hesitated. "Summer … really doesn't get along with Winter." 

Virgil tilted his head. "Why? 

Remy shook his head. "It's not my story to tell." He only paused for a moment. "But since when has that stopped me? A very long time ago, Summer had a brother." 

Virgil didn't know how to process that. "What does that have to do with Winter?" 

"Summer's brother was Winter before the Winter we know." Remy paused again, this time less deliberately, like he actually needed to. "Summer's brother died for Winter."

(Several hundred years ago)

Logan had been cast out. He pulled his thin coat around himself, trying to stay warm. He didn't know what he'd done wrong. He'd always been strange, odd, too enthusiastic about learning, too much of an upstart correcting the adults. But they'd put up with him. They'd found things he could do. Taught him letters so he could scribe, tried to teach him not to forget, to stay still, but not get lost in his head either, and he tried, he tried, but everyone could see he was different and sometimes it just made him want to scream and scream but he learned as a small child that was just inviting punishment.

And yesterday they told him he needed to leave. The village didn't want him anymore. 

Logan didn't know what he'd done wrong. He'd been doing his best. He was polite and tried to make eye contact and scribed when people asked and.

And they still tossed him out. 

Tears blurred his eyes and he wanted to curl up and cry, but knew from his books he had to keep moving, keep warm, find shelter if he wanted to survive. 

As he stumbled through the snow, he didn't notice wild blue eyes watching him from the trees. 

Logan had never feared the stories of fae and old magic in the forest. It was superstition, nothing more. He feared hypothermia and dehydration and predators more than he feared a magical trickster. 

And so when someone stepped out from behind a tree and asked. "Who are you, wandering this deep in the forest?" He answered. 

"I'm Logan. And I…" he chokes on his words. The… being? Man or woman, Logan couldn't tell, he was never good at telling in the first place, and the long flowing hair and cut of clothes and voice somewhere between a high tenor and low alto didn't help in the slightest. _Their_ eyes widened, freezing, as if the last thing they expected was for Logan to introduce himself. 

"Logan." They repeated, and Logan felt a sudden warmth. No. A sudden _lack of chill_ , as if the winter was no longer quite so unforgiving. "It's nice to meet you. I am Duke Winter." The person trilled, making a courtly bow. 

Logan raised an eyebrow. The person was vaguely dressed for the weather, and dressed expensively, a thick fur cloak covering his shoulders, what looked like a wool shirt that sparkled with stuck snowflakes and frost, a green sash and some sort of pants that were a material Logan didn't recognize. The being wore calf-high leather boots with soles that were incredibly thick, making the already tall being an inch or two taller. They were far from any town he knew, and he wondered why a person would be out here in this. He didn't look like a fur trapper which was the only logical explanation Logan had for this.

Unsure how to react, Logan returned the bow quickly. The person grinned at that, and reached up to unclasp their cloak. They took it off and stepped closer. "You look cold, Logan." They settled the cloak around the human's shoulders. "If you come with me, I can offer shelter." Their voice was almost cautious. 

The cloak around his shoulders was more warm than Logan had felt since he left the village. The person didn't _seem_ ill intentioned. Logan offered his hand. "I'll go with you." This person- Duke Winter, it seemed, looked very pleased at that. 

A blizzard picked up around him but Logan had never been so warm.

\---

It took Logan two weeks of staying in an old but cozy hunting lodge with Duke Winter visiting every day, to realize the enigmatic person was not _human_.

Call him oblivious but he did not expect Fae to _actually exist_. In that time, Duke was nothing but courteous. It was actually pleasant, though he hadn't understood why Duke had been so willing to share his resources. Logan learned the Duke did not feel attached to gender, having worked up the nerve to ask after the first few days passed. The Duke told him "Just go with what feels right in your head, I'll let ya know if it's wrong." Logan wasn't sure what _that_ meant, but settled on male or neutral to use, since "Duke" was a masculine title.

But the night the new moon dawned, leaving a black sky, Duke had strode in as usual, with barely a knock, a crazy of topic of conversation on his lips, but his eyes, usually a bright, clear blue were solid obsidian, and his teeth were sharp and serrated. His voice, usually pleasantly mid-range was deeper, like the deep rumble of ice cracking. Logan was seized with fear, at first, before realizing this was the exact same chaotic, mischievous, occasionally childish Duke who had offered him shelter, hadn't batted an eye when he had trouble making himself speak on the sixth day, when eye contact was too much and he just sat staring at the fire until the world was less overwhelming. That day was the longest Logan had seen Duke be quiet. 

Realizing how little it changed, Logan blinked and moved on, though did decide to try and remember the stories he had been told in more detail. 

The new moon came and went, and Logan wanted a notebook, something to write things down about his realization, try and compile data. 

One thing did worry him. He'd given his name. That was the biggest thing he'd been told not to do, in all the stories. A Fae, if that's indeed what Duke is, could control him with his name.

In that vein of thought, Duke seemed to use any name but Logan's own when he was talking to him, and though Logan found the nicknames occasionally insulting- "dork", _really_?- But mostly endearing. Soon enough Logan decided not to worry, and when Duke asked him, as winter faded ~~how long had he been in that cabin~~, to stay, Logan said "I'll stay as long as you want me to. It's a deal." And Duke _glowed_. 

It wasn't all good. But Logan trusted Duke, and Duke seemed to thrive off that trust. 

And then Summer came. Not the season. The being.

\---

"Finally keeping a human for yourself? You're not going to eat him, are you?" Roman asked, warmth filling the air around him, too warm for the current season.

Remus swallowed the protest of ' _I don't do that_ ', knowing their brother wouldn't listen to them. He never did. "He stayed with me. Through the winter. He agreed to come with me, and agreed to stay."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Poor thing. How long do you have him for?" 

Remus bit his lip. "There wasn't a limit on his deal." 

Roman's eyes widened. "Stars, Ree, next you're going to tell me you have his name."

As Remus ducked his head, Roman's eyes widened, and the Summer fae chuckled. "Of course you do. Why else would he have stayed?"

_"Why else would he have stayed?"_

Remus couldn't get the words out of his head. 

Their brother had left, but his words stayed, and Remus twisted them over and over in his mind, and kept coming to the same conclusion.

His brother was right. 

So he went searching for a way. To give Logan his name back, his agency back. Even though he'd been more careful than he'd ever been with anything, not using Logan's name. He still had it.

And he found a way. 

It was a big price, Remus wouldn't deny it terrified him.

But it was worth it for Logan.

[_Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone? With all my thoughts, and all my faults._](https://youtu.be/VdTmJe7mzCA)

Remus made the most of the time he had left. Spending time with Logan when it didn't hurt to remember he was only there because he didn't have a choice. The ritual gave him time. And when Logan said "I love you" as summer faded to fall, Remus smiled and kissed Logan's cheek, and didn't say anything.

_Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone? I fear you won't. I fear you don't._

And when winter dawned, the ritual was ready. He didn't fear it. The ritual wasn't meant to be violent. The ritual was just transferring magic from one form to another. It would be just like falling asleep. Nevermind he was a being of magic. 

He didn't expect Logan to find him. 

_And they call me under  
And I'm shaking like a leaf  
And they call me under  
And I wither underneath  
In this storm_

"It's okay. I know you didn't choose this. You'll have your freedom now." Duke bit his lip, the cold leaving him for the first time, the whispers of the storm pulling him deeper. "My name is Remus. And Logan I love you. And I can't love you and trap you." 

"I always had a choice. _You_ were my choice."

But Remus didn't hear him, falling into the darkness of the old magic.

It really was like falling asleep. 

And a new Winter was born, in the crystalline icy tears of the human who was once Logan. The human who is now Winter.


End file.
